A Path That Fits

Strengths are a fundamental part of a career path that fits. Whether you are in the process of making a career change or committed to your current career path, aligning your work with your strengths will lead to greater fulfillment and success.

Martin Seligman, one of the pioneers of positive psychology states, “I do not believe that you should devote overly much effort to correcting your weaknesses. Rather, I believe that the highest success in living and the deepest emotional satisfaction comes from building and using your signature strengths.”

When your career is aligned with your strengths, it feels natural, even effortless. Your work flows out of a deeper part of yourself, beyond just learned abilities and skills. You still have to work hard but it feels authentic.

Animals are a great example of authentic strengths alignment. Every animal that I can think of exists (and is “successful”) because its way of life is aligned with its core strengths. A hawk and an egret serve as good examples. A hawk’s strengths are its vision, powerful talons, and agility. Accordingly, it hunts (goes to work) by hovering high above grasslands and open spaces. It uses its amazing vision to sight rodents and its swift flight and strong talons to make the kill. An egret’s strengths are its long sharp beak, long neck, and long legs. It hunts by standing still on its long legs in shallow water, waiting for a fish to swim by so that it can thrust its long neck forward and spear the fish with its long beak. Can you imagine what would happen if an egret went to work in the open grasslands, trying to swoop down and catch mice with its webbed feet or long beak? I think its safe to say that it wouldn’t be very successful. The same goes for a hawk trying to stalk it’s prey in a marsh.

But… animals have it easy in this respect. They don’t have the same challenge of discovering their strengths and choosing the right career. They are born into their life’s work. We, as humans, have more of a challenge. We have to discover our strengths and choose a career that fits. It’s not as easy as looking at our physical features to identify our strengths. We need a way of seeing ourselves, particularly our strengths, that goes beneath the surface. The big question is: How do you discover your strengths? Here are two strengths discovery methods that have worked especially well in my new career coaching group and with individual clients.

1st Secret to Discovering Your Strengths: Past Successes & Accomplishments

1. Think of three or more experiences in which you accomplished something that you considered to be a success or did something that you were proud of yourself for doing. These experiences don’t have to be successes to anyone but you. They could be singular accomplishments like completing a project or recurring themes that show up throughout your life. For example, I consider the many times that I helped my friends find their way through personal challenges to be successes that made good use of my strengths. These weren’t stand out accomplishments but rather recurring themes that held a lot of meaning.

2. After you have identified three successes, accomplishments, or experiences that you are proud of, pinpoint the strengths that you used to make each one of those experience a success. Write a separate list of strengths for each experience so that
you can start to see which strengths show up more than once.

2nd Secret To Discovering Your Strengths Activity: Ask “Your People”

Ask the people that know you well in professional and personal situations (friends, family, co-workers, colleagues, etc.) to answer the following questions about the strengths that they see in you. I recommend asking a total of five people so that you get a complete picture of what strengths other people see in you.

1. What do you see as my strengths?
2. How do you imagine me applying and utilizing these strengths in a career?

There are numerous other ways to discover your strengths that we use in our career coaching groups and individual sessions. If these methods don’t work for you, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have strengths. Everyone has strengths. Everyone has an innate gift. Give us a call to learn more about other methods for discovering your strengths.

“You already possess everything necessary to become great” – Crow Native American Indian Saying

After discovering your strengths, the next step to moving forward on a career path that fits is to identify careers that are aligned with your strengths, or redesign your existing career to make better use of your strengths. Knowing your strengths isn’t going to do anything for you or anyone else unless you apply them in a meaningful way. Give us a call to explore how to find the right career that is aligned with your strengths or how to evolve your current job into a career path that capitalizes on your strengths. We offer a free thirty minute phone consultation – sign up on our website.

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.” - Martha Graham

Leave a comment to let us know what you discover.

A client sent me this inspiring TED talk about the importance of following your passions to find a path that fits. Steven Tomlinson, the presenter, also talks about what gets in the way of people following their passions and offers some new perspectives on how to think about those obstacles. Check it out…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhthpuS_7mMSteven Tomlinson TED Talk

I read a great article in the NY Times by David Brooks that raised a provocative question about the choice between career success and marital success (or more generally personal happiness). What would you choose?

David Brooks writes that we would be crazy to consider choosing career success over marital success/personal happiness. I think we would be crazy to choose only one. Both are possible and fundamental parts of a path that fits.

The article goes on to explore the relationship between money and happiness and things that really do contribute to personal well-being. It’s a nice reminder of what gives our lives meaning, with new research to support it.

Read the article here: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/30/opinion/30brooks.html?src=me

——–

- Adrian Klaphaak, http://www.apaththatfits.com

My one month experiment working remotely from the rice fields…

I’m in Bali for the month of January, living into my long held dream of working remotely from Southeast Asia. I have had a vision of building a “second life” for myself here since my first trip through Southeast Asia five years ago. This month in Bali is my first experiment with what it’s like to live and work in a very different reality. So far it has been just that – a very different reality.

I rented a house for the month in a village called Penestanan, just outside of Ubud. It is awesome in the old sense of the word – full of awe and beauty. The village is dripping with green, effortlessly growing in and around all of the homes. Nature is king here, and there is very little separation or attempt to control it. The people live in it and move with it. When the monsoon sweeps through in the afternoons, everyone yields and brings their already slow pace to a pause. They don’t fight it. They stay in the flow. Seeing this level of fluidity reminds me how I sometimes resist what is happening around me, instead fighting to make what I want happen. That doesn’t work here. What does seem to work is staying in the flow. Always a good lesson.

I had my first experience of trying to make something happen when I began the process of setting up an internet connection here. Not easy. I did all of the research that I possibly could before arriving, ultimately choosing to rent a house that advertised a reliable high speed internet connection. I remember the line in the advertisement, “just open your laptop, connect to the wireless network, and surf the web while you look out over the rice paddies.” Sold!

It didn’t work out so smoothly.

The experience of being here asks me to surrender to a new way of living. The structure, reliability and familiarity of life in the San Francisco Bay Area has been replaced by good intentions, huge smiles, and a very relaxed (seemingly indifferent) approach to getting anything done. It’s expansive, beautiful, and completely unpredictable. When I was here as a backpacker five years ago, all of this was amazing. But this time around, with a coaching practice to run, I experienced the unexpected internet challenges as more frustrating than humorous.

My challenge has been to integrate the expansiveness and aliveness of this place with the structure necessary to live and work in the western world. I want both for myself and my clients. It’s very similar to the path that I have already been walking but with a new degree of difficulty. I am still helping people (and myself) integrate the need for results with a quest for meaning and purpose. It’s just that results here are much harder to produce. How did I ever expect getting high speed internet in the rice fields to be easy? Now that is humorous.

It took a full week (three days were lost to holidays and power outages), three technicians (climbing without ladders like monkeys on the second story whicker roof) and two pieces of new equipment (the monsoon rendered the old equipment useless) to connect to the internet. I gave the technicians big hugs when the connection was made. After all of that, the connection turned out to be too slow and inconsistent to hold a clear Skype call. Not good.

I spent another few days of research, riding around town on my motorbike, gathering information about the best way to make international calls. I now have a mobile phone with an international calling plan. This came as a huge relief just before my first coaching session. The connection was clear and uninterrupted. Whew:)

Looking back all of this, I am amused at how everything worked out although not as planned. I expected to be holding my coaching sessions via Skype video calls. Instead I am using a phone. It is a wonderful reminder that life and work don’t have to go exactly as planned to go well. In fact, life and work don’t go as planned, so why, knowing this, do we all too often fight to carry out our plans? And what do we do when our plan feels absolutely necessary and important? I don’t know… but I imagine that remaining flexible and “in the Balinese flow” while steering toward our intention would be a good start.

——–

- Adrian Klaphaak, http://www.apaththatfits.com

My Bali office in the rice fields... not quite:)

Earlier this year, I went on a walkabout in Sequoia National Park. I spent one week wandering off trail in the backcountry, questing for a deeper experience of connection to nature and trust in myself. I walked only as far as the land would support, subsisting solely on the food that I could forage and the energy that I could summon to walk deeper into the truths about my life that were being reflected by the natural world around me.

Upon returning to my life and work in Berkeley, I committed to spending one day each month on walkabout in the hills surrounding the Bay Area. My intention was, and still is, to maintain my connection to nature, myself, and the universal energy that moves in all things. I know that nature is an unending source of inspiration and insight, always available to anyone willing to listen. Still, without a date blocked out on my calendar, I end up looking out the window at nature instead of looking at my authentic self in nature.

The most meaningful insight from my latest walkabout presented itself before I even set foot on the trail. Driving through the Oakland hills, I found myself getting increasingly suspicious of the clear and well-researched directions with every sweeping curve of the road that continued longer than my patience.

Assuming that I missed the turnoff, I stopped, checked the map and directions again, turned around and drove back the way I came for a few minutes. I didn’t see any possible turnoffs that I could have missed so I turned back around again and kept going further into the hills. A few minutes later, I was sure that I was going in the wrong direction and getting more frustrated with every turn. I noticed myself fantasizing about the hike in West Marin that I decided not to take, questioning my selection of this trail in Oakland, and wondering how I could salvage my day.

The next pullout was the trailhead. Humbled by my skittishness but relieved nonetheless, I stumbled out of the car through the parking lot of my frustration and onto the trail.

As I walked, I reflected on my experience of getting there…

I realized that especially when I am in a new and unfamiliar place, I would do well to give myself a little bit of extra room to explore. Doing so would take the pressure off and make the journey more enjoyable.

I also learned that if I had stopped short before fully exploring the path I was on, I would have missed what turned out to be a beautiful walkabout in one of the few redwood forests in the East Bay. For the rest of the day, I was rewarded with more beauty, stillness and connection, every time that I urged myself to wander a little farther from the trail into the heart of the forest.

Don’t stop short. Continue exploring.

How does this insight from my walkabout apply to your life and career?

As a career coach, I can’t help but attempt to translate my experiences into something growth producing. The biggest application that I see for anyone reading this article is as a reminder to be open to exploring. Most people are quick to rule out a potential career path or a new direction in their current career because something early on in their exploration doesn’t meet their expectations. When it falls short, they stop short.

But… How do you know that the path you are exploring (or considering) is the wrong path? How do you know that it won’t lead you to A Path That Fits further down the road?

My clients often find their path by exploring one opportunity that reveals a previously unforeseeable path that then becomes their new career. It isn’t possible to see all of the paths that await you further down the trail while you are still standing in the parking lot. Sometimes you have to trust your initial calling and continue exploring through your doubts before you can find A Path That Fits.

Don’t stop short. Continue exploring. Who knows what you will find?

——–

- Adrian Klaphaak, http://www.apaththatfits.com

Change On The Outside Requires Change On The Inside

In our work with clients and in our own lives, we commonly see that there is an internal shift that catalyzes the change that people want. Desired changes such as a new career, more meaningful relationship, or life balance often require an internal shift like letting go of a limiting belief, stepping into a new way of being, or confronting a long held fear.

While this presents an exciting opportunity for growth, it’s also a place where people commonly get stuck. It’s easy to want change and fantasize about what it would be like, but how can significant change actually happen by doing what you have done and being who you have been up to this point? I don’t think it can. Neither did Einstein. As he put it, “We cannot solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

I believe that we have to shift our attitude, perspective, beliefs and behaviors in order to make the changes we want. Change on the outside requires change on the inside. Change requires change.

A group of our clients and friends explored the question of how to create change in our most recent monthly coaching group. Here is what we learned…

Desire Isn’t Enough

The process of change starts with a desire. Desire for change is often birthed out of discomfort with the way things are and it doesn’t necessarily come with a clear vision to follow. A number of people in the group had a desire for change but no concrete vision to move toward.

What If You Don’t Have A Vision?

A Path That Fits has a coaching process that has helped hundreds of people discover and clarify their vision but it doesn’t work every time. In the cases when our process doesn’t work, we coach our clients to identify the internal shift that will open the channel for them to connect to their vision. We let go of the visioning process and ask clients to identify the place they feel stuck or limited and the associated opportunity for growth. One of the participants in our group had a desire for change but no concrete vision. She felt that expressing more of her creativity would create the internal shift necessary for her to have a vision. To facilitate this shift, she decided to take acting classes. No one can say exactly where a vision comes from but I imagine it lives near creativity.

You Don’t Have To Know Exactly What You Want

One of the most common places people get stuck is wanting to know exactly how their path will unfold before they take the first step. Another one of the group members expressed a desire to make a career change into some form of counseling but was held back by her fear of not knowing what type of counseling she wanted to study. Rather than trying to map out every detail of her future (which would be impossible), I suggested that she explore ways to become more comfortable with the unknown. We brainstormed some creative ways that she could put herself in an unfamiliar or unknown situation such as walking around in the dark or spending time in the wilderness and she ultimately decided to explore meditation. I imagine that her meditation practice will help her develop more comfort with the unknown, and her comfort with the unknown will enable her to move forward on her path, and let it unfold in an organic way.

Take Action

The bottom line in creating change is that you have to do something. Take action. Action leads to learning. For extra points, try to connect your action to the internal part of you that needs to shift or grow. If you don’t have a vision, do something that will grow you and expand the way that you experience yourself and what is possible. If you have a vision but it isn’t as clear as you want, do something to develop more comfort with the unknown or just explore the thing that most closely resembles your vision and see where that leads. If you have a clear vision but you aren’t making it happen, put your vision aside temporarily and get to know the part of you that is stuck. Refocus on shifting the stuckness. Regardless of where you are, look within and ask yourself what internal shift will help you create the external change you desire.

Change is a radical process. I know that there is a lot that I don’t understand about how to create change but I hope this article has been helpful in highlighting that an internal shift is required to create significant change.

——–

- Adrian Klaphaak, http://www.apaththatfits.com

You have a path that fits. Everyone does. A path that fits is the direction in your life and career that aligns your innate strengths, values, and purpose to create a positive difference in the world.

You also have a unique way of living and being on your path that maximizes your potential and effectiveness. Being on your path isn’t just about what you do but also how you do it.

For most of you reading this article, the desire to find your path is obvious but the actual path isn’t. And understandably so. The process of finding your true path is one of the ultimate human adventures. Here are a few steps to help guide your journey…

Step 1: Embrace The Process

I know it’s uncomfortable to not know what you want to do with your life – or what to do next. I’ve been there. Naturally, you want to have it all figured out as soon as possible. Everyone does. At the same time, looking for the fastest solution limits the necessary exploration of who you are and what you really want. Let the desire for a quick fix be there, just try not to engage it. If you need any further evidence that a quick fix isn’t the answer, just look to the state of our planet and world economy that are currently suffering from the same desire for immediate results. How’s that working out?

Or maybe you are avoiding action until you know what you want to do.  You tell yourself that you are waiting to find the right career because you don’t want to make the wrong choice, but what have you really done to begin the process of finding it?  This is another form of resisting to the process.

If you can begin to accept that finding your path is a process, you open yourself to a deeper exploration, a more enjoyable journey, and a better possibility that your path will fit who you are.

Step 2: Let Go Of What You “Should” Be Doing

We all get bombarded with messages about what we should be doing from the culture that we live in. It’s called conditioning and we need it in order to survive but too much of it limits our self-expression and independent thought. I heard someone once call it getting “shoulded on.” Sounds shitty to me.

Instead of following our inner guidance by listening to our heart, intuition, dreams, and passions, we make choices based on what we think we should do. We end up full of ideas and beliefs about the way things are that aren’t even really our own; we get a map of how to live our own life based on how other people think life should be lived.  How is someone else’s map going to help you navigate to where you want to go?

Before looking too much further, spend some time identifying the “shoulds” that are affecting how you move forward on your path. Write them out on a piece of paper. This simple practice will help you let go of some of the beliefs that are holding you back from getting in touch with your true self and innate wisdom.

Joseph Campbell said it best, “We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”

Step 3: Discover Who You Are

Finding a path that fits you is driven by self-discovery. This is the core part of the process, the heart of the journey. Rather than looking for a career that sounds good and then attempting to compromise yourself to make it work, discover who you are and what you want and then find a career that is in alignment. Sustainable happiness and success are sure to follow.

Look within. Get to know yourself. When you do, you will find that you have innate strengths that create value. You have core values and a unique purpose that create meaning. You have unrealized potential that can be used to lead, perform at your peak, and make a difference. The process of finding your path asks you to clearly identify each of those parts of who you are.

What are your strengths?
What are your values?
What is your purpose?

I believe that the answers to these questions illuminate our path. These aren’t easy questions to answer but meditating on these questions will start to produce insights about who you are. If you want additional clarity, our coaching programs have specific exercises that will help you clearly discover your strengths, values, and purpose.  The alignment of your strengths, values and purpose leads to your path.

Step 4:  Explore And Learn

The perfect career probably won’t show up immediately but following the alignment of your strengths, values and purpose will ultimately guide you to your path. Using this internal compass as a guide, follow it in whichever direction it leads, and let your experiences be lessons that shape and refine the direction of your path. Joseph Campbell famously summarized this approach in his saying, “Follow your bliss.”

Years ago, after discovering my strengths, values, and purpose, my internal compass pointed me in the direction of helping people find their path. It was a clear message but it didn’t come with instructions about what career to pursue or how to do it. I considered being a meditation teacher, therapist, counselor, teacher and a life coach. I researched the different professions, talked to professionals in each field, started attending meditation retreats, self-development workshops, and hired a life coach. All of those experiences shaped and refined the direction I explored until I found myself enrolled in a coaching certification program. My initial vision was to work with high school students but I discovered that most teens weren’t quite ready for coaching. While initially disappointed, I accepted it, analyzed why it didn’t work and refocused on an older population that turned out to be a better fit. I now typically work with people in their twenties and thirties that are unfulfilled in their current career and looking for a more meaningful career path that fits who they are.

Reflecting on my path illustrates that the final career destination is not always apparent at the beginning of the journey. I found my path by acting in alignment with my strengths, values, and purpose, learning from my experiences, and letting my path be shaped by the information I received. I didn’t find my path by waiting to figure it all out before I took the first step.  David Whyte, writes beautifully about the process of finding our true selves while being shaped by our experiences…

“We shape our self to fit this world
and by the world are shaped again.
The visible and the invisible working
together in common cause,
to produce the miraculous…
So may we, in this life trust
to those elements we have yet to see or imagine,
and look for the true shape of our own self,
by forming it well to the great
intangibles about us.”

I hope that this article leaves you with a better understanding of how to find a path that fits. If you are really serious about finding your path, I would love to coach you through the process. The steps that I outlined above are a broad overview of my “Career Path That Fits” coaching program. Please visit my website for more information and to sign up for a free consultation at www.APathThatFits.com.

——–

- Adrian Klaphaak, http://www.apaththatfits.com