January 7th, 2014

Setting Goals Doesn’t Always Work. Find Out What Does.

Hey, it’s me, Adrian. You haven’t heard from me in a while but good things have been happening. For one, I’m going to be rejuvenating this blog and filling it with coaching insights and activities that better support you in finding your path and living it fully.

Why Setting Goals Doesn’t Always Work

We’ve all had the experience of setting goals that we never accomplish. It’s not that we don’t want the result that would come from achieving the goal, we just can’t seem to get ourselves in motion to go after it.

The problem with setting goals is that it doesn’t address the deeper stuckness that is holding us back from taking action. We all get stuck in behavior patterns and beliefs about ourselves and what’s possible that confine us and keep us boxed into an overly safe comfort zone. Until we do something to free ourselves from those limiting ways of being, it’s going to be slow going on our goals.

Goals live on the surface of our lives. Change happens at a deeper level. Most people put too much focus on the action plan for how to accomplish their goals (surface level) instead of working on their state of being and the mindset that is actually going to fuel the pursuit of their goals (deeper level).

What if there was a way for you to bust out of the old confining patterns and put yourself in the right state of being to achieve your goals?

This year, I want to introduce a different approach to achieving your goals.

Let go of the goal and focus on creating the inner shift necessary to get you into a state of being where you won’t even need to set goals because you’ll be naturally moving towards what you want.

Here’s one way to do it…

Do something radical. Do something that will shake you out of your old patterns and launch you out of your comfort zone into a state of being where your goals feel much more possible. That new sense of possibility and freedom will carry you forward, leading to a series of other changes that ultimately bring something beautiful into your life and work.

Here are some examples of radical actions I’ve observed clients take to create the inner shift that sets them free to move toward their goals.

  • Moving (apartments, cities, countries).
  • Going on silent mediation retreats, vision quests, and yoga retreats.
  • Adopting a pet.
  • Quitting a job.
  • Taking an adventure trip.
  • Skydiving.
  • Taking an improv acting class.
  • Redecorating.
  • Seeing a stylist for a fashion makeover.
  • Or do what I did… (see below).

My Radical Act

This year, I wanted to walk my talk and do something radical to bust myself out of a slight funk I’d been feeling for a few months. I decided to cut my hair. Short.

I know getting a haircut isn’t a big deal for everyone but for me it was a radical act. Here’s why…

I grew my hair out after I quit my first job at a business consulting firm and set out to find my own path. Long hair felt like a part of the new identity I formed as a coach – an identity that felt so much more Me than the Adrian I knew up to that point in my life. But my long hair has served its purpose of differentiating me from my younger self and I feel ready to open myself to bigger change and new possibilities for the next phase of my life.

Picture of Adrian with Short Hair!

How do I look? :-)

How do I feel? So far it really has shifted something. I feel reinvigorated with a brighter outlook on life and what’s possible for me and I feel so much more capable of making other bold changes.

Your Turn:

What Radical Act Will Create The Inner Shift You Need?

I’m sharing all of this to encourage you to do something radical to shake things up and breakthrough the barriers to change in the New Year. Don’t just set goals. Do something that’s going to set you free to live more fully.

What radical act will you take to open up the possibility for change this year? I look forward to hearing about it! Please share it in the comments of this blog.

Upcoming at A Path That Fits:

Online Group Coaching Program

I’m so excited to be just a month away from launching this coaching program!

I’ve spent the last year synthesizing everything I’ve learned from nearly 10,000 hours of coaching clients. I’ve put all the essential elements in this coaching program.

Here’s what I built:

  • 3 month online group coaching program
  • For people who want to find a career path that fits
  • Delivered through an online learning platform available anywhere in the world
  • With weekly modules that walk you through my step by step pathfinding process
  • Including all of the coaching activities and assessments you need to find the right career for you
  • With me as your guide via videos and live group coaching calls
  • And a community of other pathfinders like you that will all be supporting each other on this journey.

I expect the program to be launching in early February. If you’re interested, keep your eyes open for upcoming blog posts about the coaching program. In a week or two, I’ll post a link to register for a free teleclass. In the teleclass, I’ll reveal the step by step process that I’ve used to help hundreds of people find their path as well as all of the details about the online group coaching program.

I look forward to staying connected with everyone in the coming year. Sending you all good vibes for a beautiful new year.

Adrian

October 21st, 2013

A Formula For How To Win In Your Career

First, a quick disclaimer: I don’t like the phrase “win in your career” but I just announced a winner to the raffle for a free ticket to participate in the first launch of my online career coaching course and I thought I would riff off that language.

Here’s a formula for how to win in your career:

  1. Find a prestigious career that is likely to make you as much money as possible.
  2. Put your head down and work hard for as long as you can.
  3. Retire and pursue the things you’ve always wanted to do.

Sound familiar?

F&%k that! It sounds backwards to me. In my opinion, that formula is going to take you as far away from winning as you can get. You might be financially comfortable but that’s just about all that formula is likely to get you.

Sadly, I think that formula sounds familiar to many of us because it seems to be how our culture defines winning in our careers. I know it sounded familiar to me until I ended up miserable in my first career and had to re-evaluate how I was thinking about my career.

If that formula doesn’t work, what does? Hmmm…

What if we start by flipping that formula upside down?

  1. Retire and pursue the things you’ve always wanted to do.
  2. Put your head down and work hard for as long as you can.
  3. Find a prestigious career that is likely to make you as much money as possible.

Starting to sound better, right?

Let’s modify it a little bit more:

  1. Retire from trying to win. Instead, pursue the things you enjoy doing and that feel natural to you.
  2. Work hard at the things you enjoy, keep your head up to stay open to new opportunities, and keep doing it for as long as you can to develop mastery.
  3. Look for the place where the things you enjoy doing meet a need in the world. That’s where you’ll find a career that supports you financially.

That’s how I think about “winning” in your career.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please comment here.

September 19th, 2013

Why Generation Y Is Unhappy

Check out this interesting blog post about why Generation Y is unhappy. While I don’t agree with every word of it, I did think it provided an interesting perspective on some of the bigger societal forces affecting Gen Y.

November 21st, 2012

It’s Simple… Do What You Like Doing

This a short video with a powerful perspective on finding meaning in work and happiness in life.

Check it out here *


* If the link to video is broken, try doing a search for “What If Money Was No Object Alan Watts.” It’s about 3 minutes long. The video is often removed for copyright issues.

March 10th, 2012

What Are You Going To Do With That by William Deresiewicz

This is a wonderfully articulated essay by William Deresiewicz about finding your own path, living a meaningful life, and everything that gets in the way. Enjoy it… you’ve probably been feeling the same way.

http://chronicle.com/article/What-Are-You-Going-to-Do-With/124651/

October 20th, 2011

The Big Secret To Finding Your Path

I see a lot of email subject lines and marketing materials that claim to reveal a “secret.” I find this trend a bit annoying because the “secret” that is revealed is usually something that I already know. So, I was careful in making the claim to share, “The Big Secret To Finding Your Path.” In my experience this secret is a big one and it isn’t common knowledge or practice. And, most of the people that seek our guidance at A Path That Fits are also unaware of this secret and have been for a large part of their life. I was in the dark for a long time, too.


So… What’s the big secret to finding your path? The secret is that finding your path comes from within. It comes from you discovering who you already are and then translating your uniqueness into a career. It doesn’t come from thinking about what careers are out there and how to fit yourself into a career. The secret is to let your path organically unfold from discovering who you are. By discovering important parts of yourself such as your strengths, passions, values, personality, essence, and purpose, you let the career path that fits who you are naturally emerge.


Still not convinced this is a big secret? Okay. Consider this… What is the first thing that a person (possibly you) asks themselves when their career begins to stagnate and they start feeling the need to find a new career path? It’s usually some version of, “What should I do?” Or, “What am I going to do?” The thing about these questions is they lead you to look outside of yourself at the options you perceive for yourself in the world around you. Those questions take you away from yourself and focus your attention outside of you. The secret is to look inside. The real question to be asking yourself is, “Who am I?” So pause for a moment and ask yourself, “Who am I?” You might find it a confronting question and a challenging one to answer. But, I think it is the most powerful question you can be asking yourself if you want to find a path that fits.


When you have taken the time to discover who you are, finding the right career path will be less of a mystery. And, you don’t have to do it alone. Our coaching programs, retreats, and workshops guide you through a process of self-discovery that helps you answer the question, “Who Am I,” and translate your uniqueness into a career path.

If this article resonates with you and you are ready to find your path, consider joining us on our first ever “Discover Your Career Calling” Retreat in Bali. It may only happen once and we are putting a lot of heart into creating an amazing experience for everyone that participates.


April 4th, 2011

My Transoceanic Midlife Crisis

Well… not my (Adrian’s) transoceanic midlife crisis. This unique midlife crisis belongs to a courageous woman named Roz Savage. She left her career as a management consultant, her husband, and her life as she knew it to have a crazy adventure that set her free to find a new path. You can read her inspiring story here. Enjoy the adventure…

March 23rd, 2011

Life After College

My friend Jenny Blake just published a wonderful book about how to navigate life after college. Aptly titled, “Life After College,” it is a perfect guide a recent graduate and a wonderful resource for anyone in their twenties.

What I like most is how Jenny distills the most important information on a particular topic and supplies coaching exercises that help the reader personalize the information and apply it to their own life. The book is one part reference manual and one part coach, and incredibly easy to read. It’s also full of quotes and excerpts from the real college graduates that make it engaging and offer multiple perspectives.

This book would make a perfect gift for a recent college graduate or a valuable resource for anyone in their twenties. I’ve already pulled it off the shelf a few times for some quick advice.

But it on Amazon.com

January 30th, 2011

The Power of Vulnerability

This is a wonderful “Ted talk” about the powerful impact of vulnerability on connection and joy. It’s not always easy to be vulnerable but it’s well worth when we can open ourselves to others in the right situations. Check it out.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

October 29th, 2010

Use a Journal to Find Your Path

I came across a great article about the values of keeping a journal written by Jack Canfield. I often recommend journaling to my clients as a part of the coaching process. It is an easy way to remain connected to yourself and tuned-in to the deeper desires that don’t always have the space to surface in our busy lives. Surfacing your deeper desires and themes are a key part of finding your path. Read more in the following article…

Use A Journal to Inspire Yourself into Action

by Jack Canfield

By keeping a personal journal, you enter a sacred space. Here, you are safe from judgment and free from daily duties and cares. Here you can dream, discover, and dare to create new ways of being in the world.

Create a laboratory for personal transformation as you put the principles of your course into action each day. Do this by including sections in your journal for inspiration, intention, action, and growth.

Receive Inspiration

Writing captures guidance from your deepest self before it disappears.  Inspired ideas can rise to the surface of your mind in a classic “aha!” moment. This might be a solution to a persistent problem, an idea for a breakthrough goal, a powerful image, an energizing affirmation, or another sudden spark of insight. No matter what form the inspiration takes, record it in your journal.

Write about your challenges as well. Note the moments when you are not functioning at your peak—times when you feel bored, tense, angry, afraid, or sad. These feelings are clues to areas of your life ripe for transformation. In your journal, describe the discomfort in detail and how you reacted. Look for patterns. Also brainstorm new options for responding. Sometimes a moment of inspiration lies just on the other side of a tough emotion.

Form Intention

Statements of intention contain blueprints for action. This kind of journal entry offers a way to stay positive and on course, directed toward the new results you want to attract into your life.

As with writing affirmations, keep intention statements focused on what you want. “I intend to effortlessly double my income” is more effective than “I intend to stop worrying about paying my bills each month.”

Also release the word try. A statement such as “I will try to save at least 10 percent of my income each month” conveys something less than wholehearted commitment. People who continue to overspend can rationalize the result by saying, “Well, I am trying.”

A more effective option comes from Yoda, the gnomish guru in the Star Wars film trilogy: “Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.”

While you can fill up a journal with statements of inspiration and intention, consider adding inducements to action as well. Even the most jaw-dropping insight or motivating statement of intention can fall flat when this element is missing.

Take the intention statement mentioned above: “I intend to double my income while working with joy and ease.” That’s a solid place to start. Now, pave the way for action by packing your intention full of details. Include specific goals such as “I will call fifty new customers this week” and “I will include ten new products in my next catalog.”

Celebrate Growth

Use a journal to make your own growth visible to yourself. Record the results that you experience by using The Success Principles and the Law of Attraction. Whenever a new outcome shows up in your life—whether subtle or significant—capture it in your journal.

Be specific. As your income increases, note dollar amounts. As your network of clients and job contacts grows, include names. As you resolve conflict with key people in your life, describe the words and actions that produced these breakthroughs.

Writing offers a way to lift your eyes above the steady march of daily events. When immersed in the details of work and family responsibilities, you can easily overlook change that is already manifesting in your life. Use a journal to regain perspective and literally rewrite your life.

Seeing the evidence of your personal growth recorded on the page, before your own eyes, can instantly raise your emotional vibration. And that opens a path for the cycle of inspiration, intention, action, and growth to begin all over again.